Everything We Had
by Francesca Jones
Summary: Season 5. Rory needs to knock off people's hats, but she doesn't take to the sea. Angstish Lit. Complete


**Everything We Had**

**Disclaimer: **None of it mine.

**A/N: **For my dearest Sam, who wanted season 5 Rory/Jess fic. Rory takes out her need to knock off people's hats on someone else…

She wasn't sure when she made the U-turn that sent her driving to New York. All of a sudden, seeing Logan had seemed like the worst idea possible. Talking to him after his father had crushed her couldn't end well. She didn't want to she her mother or her grandmother. She just wanted to…go. Go somewhere where she could deal with this her own way, where she could feel better about herself. And she knew exactly where that was.

His apartment was cramped, and there were cardboard boxes everywhere, packed and ready to go.

"Philadelphia, huh? I heard it's starting to get cool again." Rory said, sitting on the floor.

Jess shrugged. "Yeah, I've heard that too. It'll be cheaper anyway. New York's gotten expensive."

Rory nodded. "Also important."

"So…how's Yale?" Jess asked awkwardly, sitting down beside her.

"Good." Rory answered quickly. "Never better. Ivy walls, hallowed halls, you know the drill. Well, I guess you don't, but…" That was good. Dig into him a little. That helps.

Jess took a breath and said, "What are you doing here?"

"Does it matter?" Rory asked, scooting a little closer to him.

"Yeah." Jess answered simply, looking into her eyes. She was scared about something, that much was obvious.

"Do you miss me, Jess?" She demanded, adjusting her position so they were directly across from each other.

"What?"

"Do you miss me? Do you wish I'd come with you?" Rory demanded, attempting to keep her eyes cold.

"Why are you doing this?" Jess backed up from her a little and ended up with his back pressed uncomfortably against the corner of a box.

"Do you still think about me?" Rory's eyes grew angry. "Do you think about how we could've been if you hadn't messed everything up?"

"Do you?" Jess countered, growing annoyed.

"I don't have to think about it." Rory responded coolly. "I didn't screw up. And I have a boyfriend. A great boyfriend."

"Congratu-fucking-lations." Jess growled, standing. He nodded to the door. "You should just go. You made a mistake coming here."

Rory smirked, stood, and stepped close to Jess. He could smell the melon of her shampoo, and it held a frightening familiarity.

"Do you really want me to leave?" She demanded in a husky whisper, her lips dangerously close to his ear. "Because I'm probably not nearly as good at it as you are."

Before he could respond, Rory pressed her lips to his neck.

"Jesus, what the fuck are you doing?" Jess asked, taking her by the shoulders and pushing her away.

"Exactly what you always wanted me to do." Rory countered with an ease she didn't really feel. "Giving you exactly what you wanted."

She looked at his hands and took them in her own. She placed them on her hips and leaned in. She kissed his mouth fiercely, and he responded automatically. His hands tightened their hold on her and his tongue greedily entered her mouth.

He pulled away suddenly, his eyes cloudy with lust and confusion.

"God, Jess." Rory said, exasperated, sliding her hand over his abs. "Can't you even do this right?"

Jess clenched his teeth. "You don't want this. This isn't you."

"How the Hell would you know?" She growled, undoing his belt and leaning in to kiss him again. She bit down hard on his lower lip, and soon she could taste his blood. She ignored it and pulled his shirt over his head.

"What happened?" Jess asked, but he was unbuttoning her shirt as he did so. She knew he wouldn't resist.

"I've wasted my entire life." Rory shrugged out of her shirt. She roughly grabbed him and ran her nails across his back. "You know what that's like, don't you?"

Jess's eyes were stone as he undid her bra clasp and violently pushed it aside. He pulled her roughly to him and started to bite her neck, nibbling at first and then biting harder and harder. Rory whimpered, partially from pain and partly because it actually felt good.

"This changes everything we had." Jess warned, undoing her pants and pushing her down onto the mattress.

Rory slipped her pants the rest of the way off and tossed them out of the way. She smirked and said, "I hate to break it to you, but we didn't have anything special anyway."

Jess glared at her, hate and lust muddling his features. Then he was on top of her, in her, and all the hatred and anger flowed out of both of them.

* * *

He wasn't touching her. They lay on separate ends of the painfully small mattress. Neither had spoken since they finished, but neither was asleep. After a painfully long silence, Rory awkwardly stood and dressed.

She turned to see Jess was looking up at her with an unreadable expression. She nodded as if in understanding and said, "I get it now."

"What?" Jess's tone was as expressionless as his face.

"Why he did it. Giving someone what they want and destroying them. Feels good." Rory nodded again, and was confused by the wetness on her cheeks.

Jess stood and looked at Rory, who was still crying silently. Out of politeness, he pulled on his boxers and then took her in his arms. She dropped her head on his chest and let him rock her.

"I'm ready to talk about it now." She offered pathetically.

Jess pulled away with a sad smile. He'd meant what he said. What just happened had changed everything between them. But he couldn't resist those eyes when she looked so pathetic.

"Alright." He said, leading her back to the bed. He cradled her gently and said, "Tell me everything. Whatever led Rory Gilmore to need an anger bang must've been huge."

Rory let out a garbled laugh and began to tell her story.


End file.
